I Believe...

Who really knows true pain? Do you? Do I…? Almost everyone knows what it’s like to be let down. How that feels. Whether it’s a small let down, or something big, it never feels good to be disappointed. Since I was little, I have taught myself to not depend on anyone but me. This way I ensure I’ll never get hurt. At least not in that way, and if I do, I’ll know it was no bodies fault but my own. This is why I believe you can’t ever be disappointed when you only depend and rely on yourself.
When most people are little, they aren’t necessarily exposed to a lot of things. They don’t feel and see pain first hand, the kind that really hurts. Sure a crash on your bike, or a scrape on your knee hurts…but these things heal. I’m talking about a broken home, a family torn apart, or a broken heart. These things take a lot longer, if at all, to heal. These things change a person. Make them a little harder, a little colder, a little tougher. But most of all, it teaches them to be independent.
Of course some would ask, “Isn’t that a lonely way to live?” And I’m not going to lie, sometimes it is. Yet for some reason, it seems better, safer, to me. What most people don’t realize, is that being independent doesn’t mean being lonely. I try to surround myself with friends and family whom I love, and I know they all love me back. But this doesn’t mean I depend on them.
Since the first time I was taught this lessons, I’ve been taught it once more. I went against what my mind has always told me to do, and I followed my heart for once. This is exactly where I went wrong. I gave someone my whole heart and soul, my trust, my time, my mind and thoughts. Everything. I dedicated everything I had to make someone happy. And for what? To get my heart broken once more. To be left behind to pick up the shattered pieces of my life, and my heart turned back to what it needs to be. A rock.
I’m not saying everyone should be like this, in fact I would advise the opposite. I guess you have to take risks in life to learn a lot of things. But from my experiences, I know the consequences of trusting and depending on people. So I believe in keeping my heart safe. I believe in not letting myself feel like I have before. I believe you can’t ever be disappointed when you only depend and rely on yourself.