A beginning and an end.

My life will soon be taking off in a whole other direction. Starting on may 14th, my birthday, I will no longer have to come to school. Which means my posting on here might seize to exist. But my life will really just be beginning. I plan to work full time and save up lots of money, while studying to take my GED test on June 7th. I plan to be fully emancipated by or right after that date. To be my own individual person.

Family

Family is one thing that is sopost to always be there. People who are sopost to love you unconditionaly, always. But so far Iv only seen that from 5 percent of my family. And especially not my mother.

It can always get worst...

Some times I wonder if ill make it out alive. After everything I've been threw in only 16 years of life, its hard not to. Cause every time I say things cant get worst, they usually do. But if there is one thing I've learned, it can always get worst. They clouds can always get darker. The rain always heavier. The winds, always stronger. Pain, always greater. So never say that things cant get worst, cause in that instant you give all your hope up to the forces of nature. And when you have no hope, you have nothing. Don't give it up to anyone or anything.

Love

In life we're all forced to make hard decisions. Decisions that can alter your life for either a short period, or decisions that can last a life time. If I think back on it now, I've already made quite a few. And to now see the results of all those choices is truly exquisite. But its really about what you learn from all these choices. One thing I have learned, is that every decision I've made for love has been blind. But i don't regret anything. I think that love makes you blind for a reason, it doesn't want you to use your head, or your senses. It wants you to use you heart. I think that love will lead you blind through darkness before it shows you its true beauty, Its true colors. And it really is a beautiful thing. To know someone else almost better than you, to feel a closeness some people never know or understand. To have someone to run to when your sad or mad, and to know nothing but them holding you can make you feel better. So my advise for the weak is to not be scared when love is leading you and you cant see where, just relax and let it take you where it wants to go. Because love truly is a mysterious thing, but if you let it blossom, it can turn into a wondrous beautiful thing.

Mountain dew.

Everyone has that one thing that they love to either snack or sip upon for there own guilty pleasure. And it's defiantly not soggy cereal in a plastic bag with a spoon for a companion.(Dr. Bad Bottom) (aka) (D double B) Anyways, for most women it's probity chocolate, or coffee, and don't get me wrong, i love those things to. But for me, nothing is better than a nice crisp, fresh, tingly mountain dew. And taco bell, but thats besides the point. We'll talk about my fasination with taco bell later. Today I'm telling you that I LOVE MOUNTAIN DEW!

my beautiful tattoo:)

Well I've been waiting approximately 2 years to get my tattoo done. And this weekend I finally did it! I now have six beautiful stars going up my side. And oh my goodness I love it. Even if it was the worst pain I've ever gone through in my life, it was 110% worth it:)

Butterfly's

It was march of 09, the spring had just started to come. I was sitting in the truck waiting for my sister and her boyfriend. It was just around dusk, tonight we we're going up to the hill's. In a small town such as ours, our type of recreation was doing just this. Standing around a huge bomb fire, listening to music, laughing and loving. This was the night I met my love. Tall, dark and handsome, he got out of his car and started saying hey to everyone. I had known who he was, in fact I once had a small relationship with him, but for one reason or another, we had not talked in years. That night consisted of many good memories. It was about a week before i heard from him, but when i did he asked me if i would like to come with him up to the hill's again. I thought it would be fun, but i felt my crush getting a little stronger. Or maybe it was just the butterfly's he always gave my stomach.
We went up that night and again, had anther good time. But this time, we kept in touch. It started out as just talking to each other everyday. But then he would come see me all the time. Sooner or later, i was hanging out with him everyday. When May came around, we were getting really close. His whole plan was to take me to the beach for a weekend, my birthday weekend, and ask me to be his there. But when the weekend came around, he just couldn't contain it, and asked me two days before my birthday. That weekend was one of the best weekends of my life. From there on, we grew extremely close. I felt he knew me better than anyone, and I felt i knew him that well also. We were inseparable for about seven months. And than disaster struck.
Something happened to us after that. The time when i needed him the most, and he wasn't there. I was heart broken. About two months went by, he tried to talk to me, but i told myself i didn't need him anymore. That i would be better with out him. But he was stubborn. And persistently kept trying to talk to me. I could feel myself becoming lonely and sad. I missed him so much. So one night, after not talking to him for two months, i called him. I thought it would be awkward, and i was nervous to call, but i stayed on the line anticipating his voice to answer. When he did i felt my stomach drop. After everything he could still give me butterfly's. That night we talked on the phone for three hours. And every night after that for a week we did the same thing. Eventually we started to see each other again, and we both realized how much we've missed each other. Some people think you cant know what love is if your young. And that you shouldn't be in serious relationships when your young. But those people must be lonely and sad somewhere, cause if they they think that, then they don't know that love has no boundaries. No restrictions. It's not just a feeling or something you say to someone, it's an effort, from two people. Its a bond. And a strong one at that. Because even if the day comes where you cant be together, you still feel that bond. You still have that persons love. Forever.